Goodbye 2014, and good riddance

I guess it has been a whole year since I added to this blog.  It has been a pretty awful year, and I just need to make a list of all the bad things, and then try to come up with some good things to be thankful for.  I know that many have it much worse, no matter how bad things seem.  Trying to stay positive and remember what's really important in this life.

In December, 2013, my Dad's mom, our Memere, passed away.  She lived a long life, and thankfully went suddenly without a lot of suffering, aside from being old and the aches and pains that go along with that.  She was a role model to us all, and is missed.  Her husband, our Pepere, passed in February 1987 after suffering a battle with cancer.

In February my Dad's brother Gus passed away.  He had cancer too and was not well for a while, but he made it to Memere's funeral, barely, to see extended family one last time.  Too young to go, more sadness.

Then in March, my Dad found a lump.  Of course we didn't think it was cancer.  Hoped it wasn't cancer.  It couldn't be cancer.  But then another lump, and another, and another... On April 11 the diagnosis was confirmed.  Stupid cancer.  He was only 69.  This couldn't be happening.  But he will fight and get better right?  They can treat it right?  Then more bad news - Stage 3, melanoma, spread through lymphatic system.  Worse yet - also lesions in his brain, who knows where else.  We tried to stay positive.  Chemo, radiation, in and out of hospital, weaker and weaker, I can't describe or imagine the suffering.  My Mom trying to stay strong for him, looking after him, all of us so helpless. He never complained, never felt sorry for himself, stayed positive, joked around to the end. On August 11 he took his last breath in palliative care with Mom, my sister and me by his side, and his sisters and one of his granddaughters were there too. I remember it so clearly, and yet it seems so foggy like it couldn't have really happened, maybe it was just a dream, maybe he's ok.  But it's not ok, and he is gone, and it will never be the same and we miss him so much.  I can't stop the tears. There is so much more I could say about those months, but it's too sad, it hurts too much to even think about it.  The few days I was able to spend with him, in the hospital, back at home, having a hospital bed in the living room, helping him at night, trying to get him to eat something - anything. Watching TV with him on Father's day. The days I wasn't able to be there. Seeing him change so much from one visit to the next.  Maybe in time I will be able to say more.

Through the 5 short months from the first lump to his passing, it wasn't enough that Dad was dealing with cancer and we were dealing with the emotional roller coaster of trying to stay positive, knowing in our hearts he was getting worse fast - life had to throw a few more curveballs our way.

In mid-May, daughter #2 Kimberly had pneumonia - I was visiting Dad in the hospital in Saskatoon, she ended up in Emergency at the hospital in Regina.  I talked to her on the phone and remember thinking how strange it was to be at one hospital talking to her in another hospital, so torn on which hospital I should be at.  She was only there for the day though, and medication did the trick. Kristin has also been sick earlier in the month, and looking back she probably had pneumonia too but didn't have an x-ray done.

Then at the end of May, it was Bob's turn to fight pneumonia.  He was really sick, and I feel bad for teasing him about his 'man-cold', because it he was seriously ill and in need of medication. He did not end up being hospitalized, but we thought for awhile he would be.

On June 5th, I was in a car accident.  Thankfully I wasn't hurt, thankfully the kids were not with me, thankfully I was going below the speed limit, but the car was totalled when someone turned left as I was going straight, through a green light. It happened in slow motion: "Oh crap. Where did he come from? He's turning right in front of me. I'm going to hit him, I can't swerve left or I'll crash into that truck, but I can't go right or I'll hit those cars, maybe if I brake he'll make it past before I hit him. Why is there so much traffic?  I can't see a way to avoid this. My poor car. My Dad is going to be sad, he loved this car..."  Crash. Why was I at that spot at that time? What if I'd gone a little slower, left a little sooner or a little later, been going slightly faster or slightly slower - it could have been worse, or it may not have happened at all.  But I was there at that spot at that moment in time.  So thankful no one was hurt, but now I had to deal with an insurance claim, taking the car in for assessment, a rental vehicle so I could still go visit my Dad in between, then the news it was written off, negotiating a settlement, looking for a replacement vehicle.  Enough already universe.

Then in late June pneumonia struck yet again, this time our 7-year old son Jack. At first we thought it was just a bad cold, but the fever got worse, so on June 26th (his last day of Grade 1and our oldest daughter's birthday) I took him to the doctor instead of to school.  They sent us to Emergency, to meet the on-call paediatrician, fearing not only pneumonia but possibly meningitis. It was not meningitis, thankfully, but it was worse than pneumonia.  CT Scan and X-Rays showed a nasty sinus infection, pneumonia and Empyema - lung infection had gotten into the lining of his lung, similar to pleurisy. No wonder it hurt to breathe, no wonder he had such a fever, no wonder it wasn't getting better. They pulled out the 'big gun' IV antibiotics. He had an allergic reaction to one, kept blowing his IV on another but started to improve, July 1st he was released with a round of oral antibiotics. They didn't work. On July 9th, he was readmitted to hospital, had more bloodwork and was put on another IV antibiotic.  We were so worried, and I kept having flashbacks to the first 7 weeks of his life, but we kept reminding ourselves that this wasn't as bad as his heart surgery, and he would be ok. But more x-rays showed his lung was worse, and the doctors wanted to surgically remove the infection from his lung lining, but because of the heart surgery he had as a baby we were reluctant to authorize his being put under for surgery unless there were no other options.  So they consulted with infectious diseases, consulted with his cardiologist in Saskatoon, did an ultrasound and echo cardiogram to check on his heart.  On July 11th they did a surgical procedure to put in a drain tube in hopes of draining the infection from this lung.  He spent 24 hours in ICU, had issues with the morphine, suffered through 5 days of painful antibiotics being injected into the drain tube to break up the pockets of infection so they could drain out, truly a horrible ordeal.  Finally, on July 17th he was discharged from the hospital with one last antibiotic, to be given at home orally,  to ensure it was looked after.

Through all of this I was fighting a cold, and as these days in the hospital wore on, I was feeling worse and worse, but sleeping in his room on the little cot, looking after him day and night, helping him with his IV pole, keeping him occupied, I just thought I was run down.  One afternoon while Bob stayed with Jack, I ran across the street to the medicentre to make sure I didn't need antibiotics. X-ray showed I had pneumonia too.  What are the odds? Pneumonia is not contagious, even though the infection that causes it may be.  According to the pediatrician at the hospital, it is luck of the draw whether it infects the lung or not, so just bad luck. By this point, stupid stuff happening is starting to seem normal. At least he said I didn't get it from Jack, nor was I a danger to Jack by being at the hospital with him.

On June 29th, while Jack was still in the hospital, heavy rains caused flooding that resulted in almost a foot of water in our basement.  Worried about Dad, worried about Jack - did not need to be dealing with an insurance claim, cleaning out destroyed belongings, ripping apart the ruined flooring, walls, insulation, knowing we would have to do all that work again.

On July 13th, also while Jack was still in the hospital, I had a call that my sister was rushed to emergency. For the second time in as many months I was in one hospital, talking to a loved one in another hospital, wondering why so much is going wrong.  Her heart had gone into tachycardia, got stuck in a super-fast loop, wouldn't slow down.  They had to stop her heart to get it back to normal, paddles ready if it didn't start again.  Thankfully, it worked and she was released from hospital with heart medication and a referral to a cardiologist.  She will need a surgical procedure in January.

August saw Dad's funeral, and the numbness and disbelief and sadness permeated all of us.  It is hardest on Mom, because her life is completely and irrevokably changed, every day.

September and October seemed calm in comparison.  Maybe things were settling down.  Back to school routines, Carly in Grade 5, Jack in Grade 2.  He started hockey skills, kids were in skating, Carly joined girl guides.  Everytime I phoned Mom, I would think "I wonder if Mom or Dad will answer", but then I would remember.  Dad won't be answering.

Then Gem, our 12 year old German Shepherd, started having issues with her hips. We thought it was her hip dysplasia acting up, but it was more than that.  The vet prescribed pain medication that helped a little but we knew there was nothing that could be done, surgery may or not help.  We suspected an immune disorder common in shepherds that causes them to loose control of the hips in addition to causing other issues.  A blood test may have confirmed that, but the vet said there was not a lot of options, especially at her age.  On November 8th, we made the decision to put her down. She was getting worse by the day, and suffering.  Now she is gone to join our Golden Retriever, Ranger, who we said goodbye to in January 2013 when he was 10.

Also in November, on the 25th, Mom had to have surgery. Thankfully, it seems to have gone well and she is on the mend. My sister got her there, and Auntie Coco stayed with her the first couple days she was back home.

Last week the sewer backed up in our basement.  Seems like no big deal after everything that's happened this year, but still frustrating and one more thing to deal with. On the plus side, the basement still hasn't been redone, so there wasn't much damage.

I feel like this is the opposite of one of those 'christmas letters' where people recap the highlights of their year, and I'm recapping the lowlights of the year instead.  There were some good things that happened too though, Bob and I went to Mexico in February with friends, before Dad got sick.  Jack was sick, but he got through it and is ok now.  My car was totalled in June, but I got a decent settlement and a nicer car to replace it.  The basement flooded, but we got a fair settlement without having to fight for it, so that could have been worse.  We managed to spend time with family and friends over the summer, and spent some evenings around the firepit.

As the new year looms, I have to be hopeful that it will be less eventful. I am trying to resist the urge to just curl up into a ball and ignore everything, hoping nothing else bad happens.  But it really isn't so bad, we live in Canada, we have jobs and a house to live in and food on the table.  We have family and friends. We can sit down with popcorn and watch a family movie, and just enjoy the simple things in life.  Breathe in, breathe out. Time goes on.

I had the honour of reading this at my Memere's funeral on December 7, 2013 as part of the Eulogy.

Memere was the kindest, sweetest, gentlest person I know.

As the oldest granddaughter, I got to spend a lot of time helping with little ones. There’s a whole slough of them around my little sister Bonnie’s age.  Memere was the master at quieting a crying baby or a screaming toddler.  She would distract them with a calm quiet voice, “Oh goodness, what’s this over here, look at this” and suddenly a photograph or a mirror or a book made the baby forget mommy wasn’t in the room or made the toddler forget they were having a tantrum.  A true role model, I never saw her angry or speak harshly to anyone - although she did raise my Dad, so I'm guessing she may have raised her voice on occasion - She had never-ending patience, and was always calm and capable no matter what task she took on.

We all have memories of spending time with Memere in the kitchen – Tourtiere, flapper pie, pate chinois, making snow taffy, Sucre a Creme - in the little blue glass dish with a handle - baking bread – and after kneading you always end by poking the sign of the cross in the dough before you cover with a tea towel, Always cookies in the blue cookie jar, and always a pie in the cupboard when you reached for a plate.  I remember her garden was always brimming with raspberries to pick and peas to be shelled, and I remember  the tummyaches from eating too many of the raspberries or too many of the peas. 

I have older memories too.  One of my oldest memories is of being potty trained.  My Dad remembers pulling into the yard, and she had me hanging over the edge of porch railing, telling me to feel the cool breeze, or in the bathroom she would turn on the tap a little bit and tell me to listen to the sound of the running water.  To this day I can’t drive by a waterfall without wondering where the nearest washroom is. 

But she didn't just potty train us. Memere was always teaching without you knowing you were learning.  When I was a little girl – only 3 or 4 years old? - she would let me help her in the store they had in St. Denis.  How to put the prices on the items, how to count money.  She even had a dish of money next to the till, so if I wanted something I had to ‘buy’ it with money from the dish – my bar six or Cuban lunch or little icy cup in the foil cup.  She showed me how to use the old wringer washer, and how to make salad dressing – mayonnaise, vinegar, salt and pepper, always in the little blue plastic mug with a handle and she'd let me stir it with a fork.  Memere never made you feel like you were too little to help or too little to try things, or that she didn't have time for you.

Somehow she managed to make all of her grandchildren feel special, when you visited her you never felt like just 1 of 19, you were 1 of 1 for that time you with her.  As a teenager, watching soap operas with her on a visit, she would fill me in with a hushed voice “You know, he’s sleeping with her, but married to the other one...”  So out of character for her, but she loved her soaps!  Her sharing that with me made me feel special.  Even at age 40, visiting in the nursing home, she not only knew exactly who I was but even gave me heck “You never come from Regina to visit me”.  It made me feel like I mattered, like I was special.  She remembered that I was the one who lived in Regina, she cared that I hadn’t been there in a while, just as she cared about every single one of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Janelle posted a picture of Memere holding  baby Michael, and it reminded me of countless similar pictures of her holding babies, but especially of one I took of her holding her first great-grandchild, my little Kristin, 21 years ago, and also one of her holding little me many more years ago, always with the baby in the left arm, the right hand ready to smooth a shirt, wipe a tear, tickle a belly, stroke a cheek.  That’s what I remember most, Memere’s love for the little ones.  They were all a joy to her, each and every special one. 

But none of us are as special as she was.

Rest in Peace Memere Aline.

Easy French Toast!

I always loved french toast, but hated fighting with the bread trying to dip it without it falling apart and then frying each one separately, and trying to keep the first ones warm while you made the rest. But now all these problems are solved - use frozen bread, and bake it in the oven!  Genius!  I got the idea to bake it from Pinterest, but the recipes I found required you to make it the day before and refrigerate overnight. That's great if you plan ahead, not great when you suddenly want French Toast for breakfast.


Here is the recipe I made this morning, and got rave reviews - even the husband commented on the great smell in the kitchen and ate it quite happily.

OVEN BAKED FRENCH TOAST
Adapted from "Cooks.com"

2/3 c. butter
2 tbsp. honey
3 tsp. cinnamon
3 eggs
1/8 tsp. salt
1/4 c. milk
1/4 c. orange juice
6 slices of frozen bread (frozen bread is much easier to dip)
Maple Syrup (optional)

Put butter and honey in 9x13 pan, place in oven to melt
Stir melted honey and butter together, then sprinkle 2 tsp. cinnamon over top
Beat together eggs, salt, milk, orange juice and remaining 1 tsp. cinnamon
Dip both sides of bread in egg mixture, place in pan in a single layer
Put in oven at 350 degrees for 25 minutes

Serve each slice upside down, so the honey/butter coating is on top.
Drizzle with maple syrup.

Sangria!

I always liked red wine, but lately it has become my drink of choice.  Since it's summer, I have taken it to the next obvious step - making sangria.

My latest experiment already tastes great after only 30 minutes in the fridge.
One bottle dry red wine
Two cans Gingerale
1 Lemon, sliced
1 Orange, sliced
1 cup mixed berries (I used frozen)
2 oz. Disaronno
2 Tb. sugar (optional)

Throw it all in a pitcher, let stand in the fridge for as long as you can wait!  And this one will be easy to cut in half - In retrospect that would have been a good plan since my husband doesn't like wine or sangria, I may have to invite the neighbor to help me drink it.

Next time, I will try using watermelon.
Cheers!

Jack's 5-year Milestone (Part 1)

When you have kids there's all kinds of milestones - crawling, talking, walking, potty training, kindergarten, learning to read, first lost tooth, first sleepover, learning responsibilities, going to the park without a parent, first time staying home on their own,  having "the talk", moving on to high school, dating, driving, graduation, moving out on their own.  Wow.  All 4 of my children are at different stages in this list.

The last few days it's the milestone of the boy, the youngest, that's occupying my thoughts.  On May 10th Jack will be 5 years old.  He was born with a major heart defect and had open-heart surgery at age 4 weeks.  For some reason over the last few months, my mind has been filled with thoughts of "5 years ago today...".  I'm usually ok, but for some reason the 5 year mark is making a mark.

December 20:  5 years ago today we found out at the ultrasound that our baby had a heart defect.  You know that feeling when you just know that something is wrong? Ya, that. The tech wasn't talking, then she went to get the radiologist, and he came in and took over the controls, and he wasn't talking either.  I will never forget his words "There's something wrong with your baby's heart.  But it's fixable."  Wow.  It's amazing what rushes through your head in a heartbeat (pun intended).  I still feel bad that I never thanked him for saying it's fixable before I had a chance to freak out.  Those few words may have been the difference between a potential major breakdown and me actually calmly processing this information.  Everytime I drive by the Ultrasound clinic I have a flashback of being sad and scared.  (It's nearby, in the same parking lot as the wine store and Dairy Queen, so turns out I go by it quite often!)

Thanks to the internet, we learned an awful lot about heart defects that day (and in the following months).  He had  Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV) meaning his aorta and pulmonary artery were both connected to the Right ventricle.  The utrasound tech couldn't find his aorta because it was on the wrong side and hiding behind the pulmonary artery.  There are many types of heart defects, and this was considered a 'rare' and 'major' one, correctable with open heart surgery with success rates varying from 80% to 98%.

December 24:  5 years ago today we went to the obstetrician to learn more about his condition, and what else could be wrong, and what this means, and what could happen, and the risks of having an amniocentesis, and the reasons we should really consider having one done. And what unthinkable choices and decisions we might have to make, depending on what the results were.  At this point we didn't know if we had a baby who could be fixed, a baby who may have down's syndrome or some other issues, a baby who would be severely mentally and/or physically handicapped or if we had a baby who may not be able to survive more than a few days or weeks outside of the womb.

December 27: 5 years ago today we went for an amnio to find out if the baby's heart defect was part of some major chromosome problems or an anomaly. Finding out what was wrong won out, over agonizing until he was born to find out if he had a chance at life.

December 29: 5 years ago today, the obstetrician called to give us the best news that could possibly be expected under the circumstances - our baby "just" has a heart defect, all chromosomes are normal - and there's a Y, so it's a boY!  I remember it was a Friday at 6:30pm.  I had given up hearing anything that day, and was wondering how I was going to make it to Monday waiting to hear the results.  I remember being so happy that he 'just' had a heart defect and 'only' needed open heart surgery.  My little boy has a chance!  My little boy might be ok after all!  And it really is a boy.

May 1:  5 years ago today, we went to the doctor and there were signs of labor, so we had to go to Saskatoon so the baby could be born there where they have a pediatric cardiologists who could care for him when he was born.  Lucky for us, my parents live there, so we had a place to stay.

May 9:  5 years ago today, we were going stir crazy in my parent's 2-bedroom apartment, waiting for this little one to make his appearance.  We went to the doctor, who decided to induce labor.  Baby was overdue, and getting big.

May 10:  5 years ago today, our son was born and weighed in at 8 pounds, 12 ounces.  Good news, because we knew what he would have to go through and that the bigger and stronger he was, the better.  Strangely enough, his birth was the most normal and average and 'textbook' out of all 4 kids.
Our almost 15-year old daughter was there.  That may sound strange, but she was always very mature and responsible for her age, and we gave her the option to attend the birth. (Best Birth Control Ever!)  Our 12 year old daughter stayed with grandma and grandpa and the 2 1/2 year old.

May 10:  3:30pm:  5 years ago today, our son was whisked off to NICU, put on oxygen, and underwent his first surgical procedure - they needed to make the VSD (hole between the left and right ventricle) larger so more good blood could get over the side where the aorta was pumping from.  At least 'some' good blood was getting through his system, and the more the better.

May 13:  Mother's Day.  5 years ago today, I was discharged from the hospital.  The maternity ward was overflowing and they needed the room.  I felt so bereft.  My baby was in NICU and I had no intention of leaving the hospital without him, so I became an unofficial inhabitant of the hallways and waiting room.  Have you seen that movie where Tom Hanks is an immigrant who is stranded in the airport and randomly lives in the terminal?  That's sort of what it was like.  I learned the true meaning of 'Hospital Time' - lights, sounds, days and nights, passage of time, it's truly another world.

I spent every minute I could with my baby, holding him, feeding him, changing him while he was connected to oxygen and heart monitors.  Sadly they don't let Mom's live in NICU.  They did find me a bed in a room down the hall with 3 other beds where parents could lay down for a rest.  You gotta sleep somewhere.  The nurses were fantastic - at night they came and got me when my son was hungry, and during the day they came and got me from the waiting room when I was allowed back into NICU.  (Don't get me started on the whole "You can't be in here when the doctors go through due to privacy for the other patients, because you might overhear something" BS)  Luckily for me, I have a fantastic husband who made a few trips back and forth to Regina so the older girls could go to school, and looked after things at home and kept me sane.  Luckily for me, I have a fantastic Mom, who looked after Carly whenever she wasn't with Daddy, and looked after me in the hospital, visiting, making sure I ate, and taking me to her house so I could shower once in awhile between feedings when baby Jack was sleeping.  Luckily for me, we have lots of fantastic family and friends who supported us all through, including my sister who also came to visit lots and some friends who even made the trip from Regina to Saskatoon to see us and meet the little guy through the NICU window.

For now, my son was stable and we just had to wait a few weeks for him to get bigger and stronger so he could be moved to Stollery Children's Hospital in Edmonton for surgery, where they have two of the best Pediatric Cardiac Surgeons in the world.  

I'm going to have to continue Jack's story another day in Part 2.  This is harder to write than I thought.  No wonder it has taken me 5 years to get the courage to put this into words. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and sometimes it seems like so long ago.  I still can't look at the pictures without tearing up, but I'm so glad we took pictures to remind us just how much he went through and how lucky we are to have a healthy happy little boy.

Wow, it's been a long time since I posted something.  I think its because around the time I started this blog, I also started reading other blogs, and I realized that many of the post ideas I had have been done - and much better than I ever could.  Similar stories, similar kids, similar lives being played out in different places.   People everywhere have a lot in common, and it's nice to know and share and realize that.

I have learned a lot from reading blogs around the web.  I thought they had to be long and thoughtful, interesting and stimulating with a touch of humor.  But a blog post can be anything and everything you want it to be -a picture, a personal story, an opinion piece, a poem, a philosophical dissertation, a short note - they all count. You don't have to overthink, rewrite, and edit ten times.  Just say what comes to you and post it, and that's ok.

Say what you want about the internet and social networking, it has brought a lot of people together, made the world smaller, given people a forum to share, saved many people from a lonely world of depression and anxiety, and helped the social ones feel more connected.  It's a different world, but I think it's good.

Motivation and I had a falling out

Dear Motivation,

I am sorry if I hurt your feelings.  I know the last few times you came around I didn't spend much time with you and you probably felt ignored.  It's just that the internet has SO MUCH stuff to look at, it's very distracting.  Plus there is the kids, asking for my help to clear the next Mario level, or wanting to go play at the park.  I'm sorry but they're way more fun than you.

There are lots of the great things we can do next time you come over.  Please stop by again soon, and I promise things will be different. We'll do tons of stuff together, just like old times - as long as that beatch Procrastination doesn't come with you.

Love,
Me.

SuperMom - Misnomer or Possibility?

Some mornings I leave the house feeling like SuperMom - got up, got ready, unloaded dishwasher, did a load of laundry, cleaned the living room, planned for supper, wiped down a bathroom, swept the kitchen floor, remembered to give the dogs water, got the kids up, got them ready, stayed patient, organized snacks and toys and backpacks, left the house 10 minutes early, with a fully-charged Blackberry safely on my hip and a fully charged laptop safely in my bag, dropped the kids off at the sitter, and got to work with plenty of time to stand in line for a London Fog on the way by.  Phew. I am SuperMom!  Feels great!  When I get home everything is in order!

Some days I come home and SuperMom keeps going - leave work on time, pick up the kids on time, supper is ready at a decent time, cleaned up,remember to feed the dogs, the morning's laundry load is dried, folded and put away, vacuum, dust, wipe down another bathroom, kids get an actual bath (WITH hair washing), stay patient through the bedtime charts (clean up, snack, brush teeth, stories, potty, mommy "will you schweep wiff me"), kids asleep by 8:30, everything in order, lunches packed for tomorrow, dishwasher humming.  Ahhhh, Mommy-time Wine-time Whatever-I-want-time.  After some homework that is - I am usually taking a University class or two at any given time.

Most days, this is NOT how it goes.  Just imagine the Exact Opposite of the above.  Chaos. Fail.

Some women seem to have it totally together all the time, but I don't know how.  I try to keep up, but it only takes a day of less-than-stellar-housekeeping for it all to go to down the drain fast.  There's clean clothes on the couch waiting to be folded, there's something in the fridge that really shouldn't be there anymore, there's toys in the living room (does nobody care that toys have been BANNED from the living room?).  Sigh.

Sometimes I feel bad that I don't have my kids in soccer and ballet and piano and gymnastics and kindermusic and skating and swimming and brownies and karate and and and and.......  oh sure, they have taken some of these things, but we only allow one thing at a time.  It's just too much to do more than that.

I AM ON THE #!&!!@!& PHONE !!! @#!&!!@!&#&!!!

Honestly, I am convinced there is some strange phenomenon that occurs when a mom picks up a phone.  Some signal goes off in a child's brain that makes them start yelling, running, needing things, climbing, and requiring them to be within 1 foot of their mother at all times.  Even when I try going to another room, they follow - loudly.  And if the person on the other end also has small children, there is equal chaos.

My sister and I have solved this problem.  It's called MSN!  We can chat for hours. Sure, there's intermittent breaks, sometimes an hour between posts, odd subject changes - but we know the other is just dealing with kids and life in the meantime.

Mommy can you make me one of those things?

My daughter came up to me this morning and said "Mommy can you make me one of those things?"  I must have looked confused because she went on to explain "You know, one of those THINGS, with paper".   Huh? She accompanied her statement by moving the thumb and index fingers of both hands open and shut, open and shut. 

OH!!! One of THOSE things!  "You mean with the numbers and you pick one, then you pick a color?" She gave me a look like I was a bit slow, but she was proud that I'd managed to figure it out. Sure we can make one, how hard can it be?  I made them when I was a kid, I made them for the older two when they were little.

Turns out origami is not my strong suit, neither is my memory on how to make these 'things' (what are they called anyway??).  However, I'm proud to say that after a few attempts and lots of folding this way and that, the "thing" was accomplished WITHOUT the use of Google.

Now I just need to get the two of them to stop coming up to me every 8 seconds saying "Mommy pick a number".

Were did the last month go?

March has been very long and very short at the same time.  The long cold winter seems to be hanging on to the last possible minute.  It is still hard to believe tomorrow is April 1st.  I guess taking two classes on top of the working mom gig has an upside - time goes by fast when you're too busy to notice!  I have nothing exciting to talk about, I just wanted to be able to say I posted something in the month of March. 

The most entertainment around here lately is the Wii.  The little ones are old enough to attempt to play, and it is wild, animated, hilarious and dangerous.  They jump when Mario jumps, swordfight like it's real, make the greatest facial expression and generally almost bump into each other or the tv constantly. At least they're getting some exercise - just stay clear!  Even the dogs have learned it's not a good idea to lay down anywhere near the field of play.  I hope when they're older, they still have fun together.

Coconut Basmati Rice Pudding

Mmmmmm, just the thought of it makes my mouth water.  Anything with coconut is good, right? This is how I made it today:
2 1/4 c. coconut milk, 1 c. basmati rice, 1/2 c. sugar, 1/2 tsp. vanilla, 1/2 c. raisins
- Put everything in a saucepan,
- Turn on burner and go see what the kids are yelling about, remind them to share,
- Come back, stir pudding, enjoy coconutty aroma, imagine how tasty it will be,
- Fill the dog's water dish, pick up a few toys in the living room, wonder why there's a banana peel on the couch, put scissors and tape out of kids reach (how did they get to the living room in the first place?), lament that there's laundry waiting, watch a few minutes of 'Toopy and Binoo', realize the kids aren't even in the room, plug in the laptop because the battery is almost dead, log into Facebook, remind myself I should be doing homework instead, wonder why it sounds like water is running,
- Realize it's the forgotten pudding boiling over,
- Run to the kitchen, remove it from the burner,
- Curse and clean up the mess,
- Add a little water to make up for what ended up on the stove,
- Stir, cover and simmer for 40 minutes....Voila!

Smoothies! (prefaced by random ramblings)

Are blogs supposed to be funny?  Some of the ones I read are absolutely hilarious, some of them mirror incidents in my own life, some are informative.  I guess if something funny happens, I will write a funny post.  I really just like getting little anecdotes written down so I can let them out of my head.  You know, there's only so much room for information in there.  Research proves it.  Research also shows that the size of the Amygdala is proportional to a person's social contact needs.  Apparently Facebookers and Bloggers have larger amygdala, introverted loners have small ones.  Wow, what a surprise, our brain affects how we act. 

But I digress - back to the topic of this blog, Smoothies!  Here are few of our favorites, all made in the fabulous Magic Bullet. This works great because everyone can pick their own flavor, made right in the cup.

Base: 1 cup crushed ice, 1/4 to 1/2 cup vanilla yogurt, 1-2 scoops vanilla cream meal replacement powder
Add flavors to base:
Creamsicle - 1 cup orange juice, 1/2 banana (optional)
Choco-Banana - 1 cup milk, 1/2 banana, 1 TB cocoa, 1 TB sugar
Very Berry - 1 1/2 cups milk, handful of frozen berries, 1/4 cup strawberry yogurt
Pina Colada - 1 cup pineapple juice, 2 TB coconut milk powder


* Please note: All quantities are estimated, I have never actually measured anything in a smoothie! 

Happy Balentime's Day

This year Carly made her own valentines!  We cut out heart shapes, and she wrote the names and drew on them.  I was amazed at her dedication, they all had to be the same, she took this very seriously.  Her class at school and all the kids at daycare will love them - according to her, because she is convinced they are 'the best balentime's ever'.  Love the confidence. Jack made his own too, I wrote on them and he colored on them and put stamps on them.  That's all you need, it's the thought that counts!  Personally, I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day - it puts pressure on relationships, some people are romantic and some are not, I guess I'm not.  But I'll take the flowers and chocolates if they happen to be offered...

I.hate.laundry

Hate is such a strong word.  I really try not to use it, but when I think about laundry it's just the only word I can use to describe it.  Don't get me wrong, I love having the laundry done - clean clothes neatly folded and tucked into the drawers, knowing that in the morning when it's time to get dressed everyone can choose what to wear calmly, no one will yell "but where's my PINK shirt with the PINK flowers" or "NO, I want Lightening DaQueen shirt" or "is there any clean underwear somewhere?".  But getting to that point is just something I have trouble doing. Even now, as I type, I really should be putting clothes in the washer, and putting others in the dryer, and folding the dry stuff, and putting away the stuff that's folded - it just seems like such an ordeal!

I don't know where this hatred comes from.  My mom LOVES laundry, is excited to do it, sets the timer so she knows it's time to switch loads, and folds everything with care and precision. Clearly, this love of laundry did not pass to me through DNA - nature and nurture both let me down on this one.  I look forward to when she comes to visit - Guess what Mom, I SAVED a few loads of laundry for you!  (Always the thoughtful, caring and generous daughter...)

The worst is when I forget that there's something in the wash.  Do you ever walk past the laundry room and go "Oh ya, laundry, I wonder how long that load's been in there".   Trust me, you do not want to put the clothes in the dryer - they definitely need to be rewashed first with hot water and extra detergent.  It really doesn't take long before that musty smell takes hold. (Do NOT tell my mother this happens, she may faint from the horror at the mere thought of it!)

And the folding - why is folding so difficult?  My husband tries, and he means well, but he might as well just crumple each piece into a ball for all the good his folding does.  You have to straighten it out, smooth out the wrinkles - I am convinced he is 'faking' his complete lack of ability to fold clothes, so he doesn't have to. Leave the shirts and pants to me, but hey - go crazy on the towels and socks!

I know the trick is to "Do a load everyday" and I have tried.  Put a load in the wash before leaving for work, put it in the dryer when you get home, fold it after supper, put it away at bedtime.  Doesn't seem so bad, just a few minutes 4 times throughout the day.... ya, that should be doable.  And I don't sort colors, and socks and underwear can go in the drawer without folding.  Sounds manageable. 

The teenagers now do their own laundry, another 6 years and daughter #3 can take over hers, about 9 years for the boy.  I may be in a straight jacket by then - oh no, wait, they are white and require laundering, so I do not want one in the house.

Family game night!

Wednesday Carly came home from school very excited - tomorrow was Family Literacy Day, and we 'had' to play a game and we couldn't play 'electronic games'.  I wasn't personally concerned about being in trouble with her Grade 1 teacher if we disobeyed, but she was quite adamant that this was important.

The next day she hadn't forgotten, and insisted we play a game that night.  So we had a quick supper, and managed to get everyone sitting around the table (teenage sisters included!).  We pulled out a few board games and she chose Monopoly.

About 30 seconds in, 3yr old Jack declared "this is aboring", but he hung in there and was happy for quite a while as long as he got to shake the dice every once in awhile.  Carly actually did really well, and kept landing on properties to buy.  In the end, Daddy won but we all had fun.

Last night, they had fun playing 'Operation' and putting the little people in the little cars from the "Game of Life".  I guess we should try doing this more often.  Computer games, online games, Wii and DS really aren't the same.

Little boys think everything is HILARIOUS

My son is a typical boy, and apparently so is my husband.

The other day Jack was having a 'typical 3-year-old meltdown'. I tried to distract, tried talking calmly, got frustrated, was on the verge of a meltdown myself - Daddy steps in and says 'poop'.  The screaming decibel levels dropped immediately.  Daddy says "poopy poopy fart fart", the screaming stops and there is even a hint of a smile.  Jack farts and they both start laughing like they just heard the greatest joke ever told.  Is it really that simple!!!?!?

The words 'pull my finger' seem to bring them both endless hours of entertainment, and my son apparently feels that the word 'poop' can be substituted for almost any noun: 
And now back to the poop! (program)
I'm putting on my poop. (boots)
Can you get me some poop? (cereal)
I'm reading myself a poop (story)

And whenever he says stuff like that, Daddy is so proud. Must be a male bonding thing.  Nature vs. Nuture?  It's obviously nature at work here.  Hubby tried the same things with all three girls, but it was nothing like this. 

I can't believe I have actually typed the word 'poop' , let alone so many times in one blog.  I must be getting de-sensitized.  Some days I really do not understand my boys!

The Cutlery Drawer

What is with the cutlery drawer?  It's clean, you put perfectly clean cutlery fresh from the dishwasher in it, you close it.  And yet everytime I reach in for a fork I see crumbs or lint or dirt or something.  Is there some cutlery-drawer-crumb-fairy that opens the drawer when I'm not looking and brushes toast crumbs into it?  Does this drawer actually open itself when I'm not there and gather crumbs like some sort of magnet?  I just need to know.

Why does my back feel warm? and damp?

3 times in the past couple of months I have woken up with the feeling that something isn't right. One minute I am sleeping peacefully in my cozy bed, the next I'm wondering why I'm cold. There appears to be a small child behind me, taking up most of my pillow and stealing my covers.  Maybe that's why I'm cold.  But wait, my back feels warm, but cool at the same time, how odd. Wait a minute, is that dampness? is my shirt wet? How could that be? and what is that acrid smell?... Suddenly I am very wide awake. Arrrgghhh. He wet the bed. Good thing this little boy is so adorable.

Breakfast in Bed - 6 year old style

This morning my husband and I were treated to breakfast in bed!

I could hear something going on in the kitchen, and then our daughter came into the bedroom. "I have a surprise for you" - and handed me two glasses of apple juice.  Then she ran out and returned with two bowls of Capt'n Crunch.  Next came her Dora tray with a 'vase' of flowers and a small statue of the Eiffel tower.  Fancy!

It was very cute, and she was so proud.  The cereal was a little soggy, and she nearly spilled it all when she climbed up between us to 'share', but all in all it was pretty adorable.  Thank you Princess.